Untrustworthy People

“Trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it’s broken, but you can still see the crack in that mother fucker’s reflection.
”

— Lady Gaga

I've written quite a bit about why we invest in people first and everything else later. It's because we need to be comfortable with people and build a layer of trust before we decide to work with them or support them. More importantly, it is so that we don't waste our most valuable asset - time. 

Over the past few weeks, as we've moved into looking at two particular scenarios in depth - one personal/professional and the other one purely professional, I've been taken back. 

I don't think I've been this angry in a while. Seriously, untrustworthy people, go fuck yourself. You don't deserve anything. #Betrayal

— Aanarav Sareen (@aanaravs) May 27, 2015

Yesterday, I had a minor outburst on Twitter and received a few offline messages about them. And the truth of the matter is - that once you think you trust a person - and then you find out that they're living a secret life, it sucks. It sucks that people have the audacity to lie to you - when all you've done is support them unconditionally. But it also becomes really easy to back away. 

“You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”

— Marilyn Monroe

And so it goes. Another day. Another story. 

On Big Decisions

The phone rings. It's another entrepreneur. It's another pitch. It's another story. And I have a list of questions, a series of doubts and always a twinge of guilt. Why? Because even though I'm not entirely sold on this idea, entrepreneurs call me every single day - asking for advise, feedback or introductions. I'm happy to do it for each and every single one of them - if I believe their story. I feel guilty during most of these conversations because I have been through what they're going through. 

In an entrepreneur's life, there are usually 3 difficult decisions:

1. When they give up comfort
   • Entrepreneurs are a rare breed of people - they are willing to give up everything to make themselves happy. That's the definition of an entrepreneur. They give up comfort of their current circumstances. They sacrifice relationships to form better ones. Why? Because it makes them happy. Here's the thing: for anyone to even think of these changes means that their current circumstances - professional and/or personal are wrong. But, knowing what is wrong and making the change are two different things. 
2. When they have to ask for money
   • If you're dreaming, might as well dream big. When entrepreneurs do that, they need money - whether to pay rent or to pay salaries. You always do. And when you have to, your ego is hurt. It hurts going to people that told you once that you wouldn't make it. But, you have to put that in the rearview mirror and let it roll off of you. 
3. When they're in an incredibly difficult situation
   • The biggest determining factor in success is making hard choices. And the only time you have to make hard choices is when you're in a difficult situation. You know what you do then? You rip off the bandaid. Just fucking do it. If you don't you're going to bleed internally. Or as Paul Graham from YC in an article perfectly titled "How Not to Die" says: "So I'll tell you now: bad shit is coming. It always is in a startup. The odds of getting from launch to liquidity without some kind of disaster happening are one in a thousand. So don't get demoralized. When the disaster strikes, just say to yourself, ok, this was what Paul was talking about. What did he say to do? Oh, yeah. Don't give up."

If you are comfortable with the 3 traits above, I'll tell you this: make the big decisions. Believe in your dream. You know why? Because no one else on this planet will. Not your partner. Not your family. Not even your employees. 

I've started a few companies. Some have liquidated. Others have not. But despite the outcome, I have yet to regret any of those decisions. Why? Because I believed in them and fought for them harder than I have ever fought for anything else. There's no point in fighting for anything UNLESS you believe that it is going to be longterm. 

And if you're not always fighting, then you're making short term decisions. Decisions for today. Not for tomorrow. And those decisions are never going to work. That's my promise. 

Because Magic Happens

"I only hope that we don't lose sight of one thing - that it was all started by a mouse." — Walt Disney 

In 1919, Walt Disney was fired from the Kansas City Star. According to his editor, he "lacked imagination and had no good ideas."

It's 7:00am on one of the first few beautiful Fridays of this year. The sun is out. People look happy and the world continues to do amazing things. 

This week has been therapeutic for me. It started off by opening up to someone I care about. It is ending with a quick trip to Chicago.  

But, more importantly, it has also been a difficult week for me. I've felt a whole range of emotions that are somewhere on the magnitude of scary to terrifying.  

Last night, I was talking to a friend of mine and I realized that the only reason I'm qualified to talk about any of this is because I have thankfully lived through some of the darkest periods in my life. 

I realized that in order for me to even be at this point in life - I had to live through all of it. I wanted to run away and give up more times than I care to admit. But today, when I look back on it - I'm glad all of those things happened. They weren't easy. But they taught me one thing - magic happens. Magic happens when you take that leap of faith. Magic happens when you believe in the people around you. Magic happens when you    follow your heart.

Why? Because magic exists. Don't you deserve magic?

10,000 Hours

This past week has been a really interesting week for me. Mondays always start early and Fridays always end late. The first part of the week is pure hustle and the latter part of the week is administrative work, project work, etc. 

As of this weekend, I've spent exactly 4 full weeks in New York continuously. Being on a plane on my way somewhere, anywhere, is much more soothing for me than being in one single location. After brunch today, I was tempted to jump on the next flight to Miami and then return either Sunday night or Monday morning. I had the flights on hold. 

And as I pondered that thought, I realized that the possibilities I had in front of me were unbelievable - wine in Napa, boats in Miami, clubs in LA, etc. All of it is possible. All of it could have been done. 

And then I decided to be good and not tire myself out for the week ahead. 

However, the thing that started this thinking process is a brunch conversation that I had with a friend of mine and the COO of a portfolio company. She’s incredibly smart and has been working on her company for 3+ years. There have been ups and downs. Disappointments and failures. If I start listing out their path to this point, most people would call her crazy. 

Here’s the thing - that craziness is what will make the company succeed. Nothing else. 

Calling entrepreneurs crazy is completely OK. Belittling their ambitions is absolutely not. 

If you're working a corporate job, I will tell you a personal story that only one other person knows:

It was Fall of 2013. I had come back from a completely disastrous trip from Amsterdam after trying to close our Series A. The deal fell apart and in the most horrific way possible. I was in shock. I was scared. I was absolutely terrified to a point where I couldn't speak to anyone. I called a friend of mine. Her and I went for drinks. She’s an upcoming actor. She had gotten her first paycheck - a mere $60. She bought me drinks that night and just sat there looking at me. I had a few beers, thanked her and walked home. 

Those feelings of pure terror are meant to scare the living crap out of you. Because only at that point do you realize that there is no turning back. You can only go up from there. 

It has been nearly 2 years since that entire week and it still scares me. But, it also taught me an important lesson about startups. 

Startups are a journey. And harder than most other journeys. If you survive this journey, you can survive a lot of what the world throws at you. Paul Graham, amongst his many essays, has a great piece titled “What Startups are Really Like?” I really would like for everyone to read that piece. 

I'll add a few additional points to what Paul has said: no matter what you do, know that you are going to be challenged. Some days you're going to want to quit. But, if you see the light at the end of the tunnel - do not quit. If you don't see that light, change paths. Do not quit. Looking back at your life, nothing good has happened because it was easy. There’s a reason why people date wrong people for a decade or more.  There’s a reason why people get fired. Or quit terrible jobs. Pursue your dream without fear of failure or the option of quitting. 

And a lot of days, it will feel like this: 

“The Struggle is when you wonder why you started the company in the first place. The Struggle is when people ask you why you don’t quit and you don’t know the answer. The Struggle is when your employees think you are lying and you think they may be right. The Struggle is when food loses its taste.” - Ben Horowitz 

Secondly, find people that will support you and not your idea. Ideas are a dime a dozen. Any engineer can make a product function. Your job is to create a company. Your job is to be your cheerleader. Do it better than anyone.

Lastly, always remember that whatever you are doing - you are doing it for yourself. If you hate it, don't do it. If you don't believe in it, it won't come true. But do not ever bear the entire burden on your shoulders. You will collapse very quickly.  All of this will take time. Put in your time. Earn your freedom. Put in your 10,000 hours. 

There are people, strangers included, who will listen to you. If you ever need help or advise, my email and phone number have always been publicly available: aanarav@sareen.tv or 201-693-4510. 

I wish you the best of luck. Get ready for the most adventurous 10,000 hours of your life. 

*The 10,000 hour rule has been deemed controversial. However, the use in this post is primarily to highlight the importance of persistence and deliberate pursuit of excellence. 

On Chasing Adventure

“Let us step into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure.”

— J.K. Rowling

Costa Rica, 2013. Slipping off the cliff without a proper security harness. 

In a little over 60 days, I depart on the most extreme adventure of my life - New Zealand with stops in Dubai, Hong Kong, Thailand and Australia along the way. 

It's an adventure that I've chased for longer than I can ever remember. To travel. To explore. To jump off bridges. To sitting in a boat and getting thrown off of it. To go down the world's fastest rapids with nothing but a camera. 

It is an expensive adventure. One I really shouldn't be splurging on, but here's the thing - who cares? I find that people work their entire lives without spending money on themselves. I'm a very strong supporter on saving money. I've followed that policy since my first paycheck and continue to do that today. But, I'm also a supporter of budgeting. If you can do it without going into debt - do it. 

But, this story isn't about savings. It's about figuring out what drives you to be better. 

I've had this conversation with multiple people over the course of the past few years - if something makes you happy - that's what you should be doing. 

Want to go out and have a beer? Do it. 

Want to hangout with someone? Do it. 

Want to quit your job? Do it. 

Want to fall in love with someone totally wrong for you? Do it. 

Want to jump out of a plane? Do it.

Want to live on the edge? Do it.

Want to quit? Do it. 

Seriously...do all of it if it makes you happy. I'm fortunate enough that my passion is building things with people I care about and where I can add value. 

Other than that, screw it. No amount of dollar signs are going to convince me. Why? Because I'll be unhappy the entire time. 

I chase adventure because it makes me happy. Yes, there are consequences, but who cares?

I choose to live on the edge because it makes me happy. Yes, I've almost fallen off a cliff to my death. But, I don't care. I've fallen from rocky waterfalls and broken my toe. I drove myself to the hospital, where they couldn't do anything. I still enjoyed my time.

Here's the bottom line - chasing adventure - is just like chasing life. If people hold you back, ditch them. This is your life. Live it the way you want it. You owe yourself at least that much.