Life

What You’re Taught and Why it’s Wrong /  by Aanarav Sareen

(A repost from nearly 3 years. Nearly every word still holds true.)

The past few weeks have been interesting. I’ve had severe setbacks in ventures and then great upswings. It’s a weird feeling, but it also reminds me of how different real life is than what school and professional institutions force into your head.

Elementary school:

Remember elementary school? Where they taught you A for Apple, B for Ball and C for Cat? When’s the last time you had an apple while playing ball with a cat? Never. Elementary school sets you up to dream. Yet, as people progress through life, the dream – whatever it may be – slowly starts dwindling down to the path of least resistence.

Middle school:

Middle school is where you start reading books. Not fancy Shakespeare just yet, but good books that are mostly inspirational and highly adventerous. Yet, there are so few people who pursue adventure in real life.

High school:

Remember when you snuck out of your house to do something fun that your parents didn’t want you to do? That was fun. Yet, most people don’t have fun – don’t pursue fun as they get older. They stick to their boring desks in a useless job and in their tiny apartments and just keep on working. Sneak out and go have fun!

College:

College is another animal. If you don’t have fun in college, you’re missing out. And yet, this point in your life, you’re independent, living in the crappiest location and have the least amount of money. Still, the fun never stops. 

Job: 

If you go through all the different types of schools and end up at just another job – you’ve already lost the game. Finding a job is great. Finding the right job is important. Many people find a job based on their professional degree. That should never be the case. Finding a job on your passion is far more important. A professional degree has a set path. If you’re satisfied with that path, fine. You’ll make a six figure salary in the next 15 years, you’ll take 2 weeks off every year to go to Florida or Mexico or some other pre-defined place – because that’s what every one does. 

But, take a look at everyone who is succesful and happy – they fought their way to be there. No one – ever – is going to give you the opportunity to succeed just by staying on one path. 

The “system” is broken. Companies don’t succeed, because people don’t like their job. People don’t like their job, because they don’t enjoy it. They don’t enjoy it because it’s not their passion.

Most people are talented. Heck, everyone is talented. Just do what you want. And don’t accept less than perfect. It’s not worth it. 

Untrustworthy People /  by Aanarav Sareen

“Trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it’s broken, but you can still see the crack in that mother fucker’s reflection.
”
— Lady Gaga

I've written quite a bit about why we invest in people first and everything else later. It's because we need to be comfortable with people and build a layer of trust before we decide to work with them or support them. More importantly, it is so that we don't waste our most valuable asset - time. 

Over the past few weeks, as we've moved into looking at two particular scenarios in depth - one personal/professional and the other one purely professional, I've been taken back. 

Yesterday, I had a minor outburst on Twitter and received a few offline messages about them. And the truth of the matter is - that once you think you trust a person - and then you find out that they're living a secret life, it sucks. It sucks that people have the audacity to lie to you - when all you've done is support them unconditionally. But it also becomes really easy to back away. 

“You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”
— Marilyn Monroe

And so it goes. Another day. Another story. 

10,000 Hours /  by Aanarav Sareen

This past week has been a really interesting week for me. Mondays always start early and Fridays always end late. The first part of the week is pure hustle and the latter part of the week is administrative work, project work, etc. 

As of this weekend, I've spent exactly 4 full weeks in New York continuously. Being on a plane on my way somewhere, anywhere, is much more soothing for me than being in one single location. After brunch today, I was tempted to jump on the next flight to Miami and then return either Sunday night or Monday morning. I had the flights on hold. 

And as I pondered that thought, I realized that the possibilities I had in front of me were unbelievable - wine in Napa, boats in Miami, clubs in LA, etc. All of it is possible. All of it could have been done. 

And then I decided to be good and not tire myself out for the week ahead. 

However, the thing that started this thinking process is a brunch conversation that I had with a friend of mine and the COO of a portfolio company. She’s incredibly smart and has been working on her company for 3+ years. There have been ups and downs. Disappointments and failures. If I start listing out their path to this point, most people would call her crazy. 

Here’s the thing - that craziness is what will make the company succeed. Nothing else. 

Calling entrepreneurs crazy is completely OK. Belittling their ambitions is absolutely not. 

If you're working a corporate job, I will tell you a personal story that only one other person knows:

It was Fall of 2013. I had come back from a completely disastrous trip from Amsterdam after trying to close our Series A. The deal fell apart and in the most horrific way possible. I was in shock. I was scared. I was absolutely terrified to a point where I couldn't speak to anyone. I called a friend of mine. Her and I went for drinks. She’s an upcoming actor. She had gotten her first paycheck - a mere $60. She bought me drinks that night and just sat there looking at me. I had a few beers, thanked her and walked home. 

Those feelings of pure terror are meant to scare the living crap out of you. Because only at that point do you realize that there is no turning back. You can only go up from there. 

It has been nearly 2 years since that entire week and it still scares me. But, it also taught me an important lesson about startups. 

Startups are a journey. And harder than most other journeys. If you survive this journey, you can survive a lot of what the world throws at you. Paul Graham, amongst his many essays, has a great piece titled “What Startups are Really Like?” I really would like for everyone to read that piece. 

I'll add a few additional points to what Paul has said: no matter what you do, know that you are going to be challenged. Some days you're going to want to quit. But, if you see the light at the end of the tunnel - do not quit. If you don't see that light, change paths. Do not quit. Looking back at your life, nothing good has happened because it was easy. There’s a reason why people date wrong people for a decade or more.  There’s a reason why people get fired. Or quit terrible jobs. Pursue your dream without fear of failure or the option of quitting. 

And a lot of days, it will feel like this: 

“The Struggle is when you wonder why you started the company in the first place. The Struggle is when people ask you why you don’t quit and you don’t know the answer. The Struggle is when your employees think you are lying and you think they may be right. The Struggle is when food loses its taste.” - Ben Horowitz 

Secondly, find people that will support you and not your idea. Ideas are a dime a dozen. Any engineer can make a product function. Your job is to create a company. Your job is to be your cheerleader. Do it better than anyone.

Lastly, always remember that whatever you are doing - you are doing it for yourself. If you hate it, don't do it. If you don't believe in it, it won't come true. But do not ever bear the entire burden on your shoulders. You will collapse very quickly.  All of this will take time. Put in your time. Earn your freedom. Put in your 10,000 hours. 

There are people, strangers included, who will listen to you. If you ever need help or advise, my email and phone number have always been publicly available: aanarav@sareen.tv or 201-693-4510. 

I wish you the best of luck. Get ready for the most adventurous 10,000 hours of your life. 

*The 10,000 hour rule has been deemed controversial. However, the use in this post is primarily to highlight the importance of persistence and deliberate pursuit of excellence. 

Cost-Benefit of Life /  by Aanarav Sareen

“The purpose of morality is to teach you, not to suffer and die, but to enjoy yourself and live.”
— Ayn Rand

This past weekend, as I’m sitting in my hotel room in Hong Kong, I get a ping on Facebook. It’s a private message via Facebook Messenger from someone I’ve known for more than 10 years. This individual and I have never really been friends, but we’ve been acquaintances and went to high-school and university together. 

The message reads as follows:

"Your words are inspiring. I dream of seeing the world one day. Recently I’ve been thinking I need to make a major life change but I don’t have as much courage as you."

To be honest, this message took me by surprise. For those who know me really well know that I am not the most open person in the world. I hold my emotions and feelings close to me. And that comes off as not very social. It was much worse when I was growing up. When I moved to the United States from the Middle East, I was shy. I never really talked to people and kept to myself. On the other hand, the person who sent me this message was the complete opposite - she was a social butterfly.

And the reason her message to me this weekend is surprising is because so many people keep pursuing a life that is well accepted by society but also completely detrimental to personal well being. 

Don’t like your job? Quit. Don’t like your career? Find a new one. Dislike the person you’re with? There are 7 billion others in the world. Don’t like your friends? Find new ones. Don’t feel that your family is supportive enough? Move out. Don’t like the winter? Move to a beach. Want to travel the world? Buy a plane ticket. 

There are always excuses to NOT pursue something (too old, too young, too poor, too many responsibilities, etc.) But your only responsibility is to yourself. 

Here’s my only question to anyone dealing with any of this dilemma - if you lived like this for the rest of your life, would you be happy? If so, don’t change a thing. If you took more than a second to answer that, go find your passion. 

Yes, it’s scary. It’s supposed to be. When is the last time something good happened because you were comfortable and protected in your little shell? 

Life is short. Live it.