Cost-Benefit of Life

“The purpose of morality is to teach you, not to suffer and die, but to enjoy yourself and live.”

— Ayn Rand

This past weekend, as I’m sitting in my hotel room in Hong Kong, I get a ping on Facebook. It’s a private message via Facebook Messenger from someone I’ve known for more than 10 years. This individual and I have never really been friends, but we’ve been acquaintances and went to high-school and university together. 

The message reads as follows:

"Your words are inspiring. I dream of seeing the world one day. Recently I’ve been thinking I need to make a major life change but I don’t have as much courage as you."

To be honest, this message took me by surprise. For those who know me really well know that I am not the most open person in the world. I hold my emotions and feelings close to me. And that comes off as not very social. It was much worse when I was growing up. When I moved to the United States from the Middle East, I was shy. I never really talked to people and kept to myself. On the other hand, the person who sent me this message was the complete opposite - she was a social butterfly.

And the reason her message to me this weekend is surprising is because so many people keep pursuing a life that is well accepted by society but also completely detrimental to personal well being. 

Don’t like your job? Quit. Don’t like your career? Find a new one. Dislike the person you’re with? There are 7 billion others in the world. Don’t like your friends? Find new ones. Don’t feel that your family is supportive enough? Move out. Don’t like the winter? Move to a beach. Want to travel the world? Buy a plane ticket. 

There are always excuses to NOT pursue something (too old, too young, too poor, too many responsibilities, etc.) But your only responsibility is to yourself. 

Here’s my only question to anyone dealing with any of this dilemma - if you lived like this for the rest of your life, would you be happy? If so, don’t change a thing. If you took more than a second to answer that, go find your passion. 

Yes, it’s scary. It’s supposed to be. When is the last time something good happened because you were comfortable and protected in your little shell? 

Life is short. Live it. 

Don't Follow Your Dreams

“Please do make your decisions in life and feel confident that they are right. However, if fate is involved, feel just as confident even if they aren’t.
”

— C. Elizabeth, Absolute Obsession

As part of my job, I see a lot of ideas come through my desk. A few of them, I get excited about and decide to pursue. Many of them are not the right fit. However, the common trend between these ideas are the people - the startup entrepreneurs. They range from 18 to 60. Their eyes are glowing and they are passionate. They want it. Who knows what it is, but it is clearly important. 

Despite most of my writing that focuses on the positive aspects of startup life, this post is not about the good things. It's about the struggle. Despite the glow in entrepreneur's eyes and the burning desire to succeed, what goes on in the background is crazy and insane. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemies. 

These are people who have asked for money from their parents, friends and family. Yet, they have nothing to show for it. 

These are people who have closed out their savings accounts and their paycheck is still $0. 

These are people who have gone from living in a nice apartment to under their desk. 

These are people who have gone into irrecoverable debt and sometimes into bankruptcy. 

These are people who have lost family and friends because the time commitment to building this thing - which may or may not succeed - is inhuman. 

These are people who have sacrificed the best  part of their lives to focus on a dream. 

And that's what is so scary about being a founder. Dreams do come true. Only if you want them to. And the reason I say "these people" is because I have been there. And it was terrifying. It still is terrifying. It keeps me up at night. It scares the living crap out of me. 

But you know what? I am fucking happy. Every single day. Every decision I make is mine. Every word I write is calculated. Every person that has survived this shitstorm with me is family. And that to me is success. 

The world will try to mold you into something that aspirational people disagree with. Every day. Every single minute. It starts off with your GPA, then your SAT scores, then your internship and then your first job. And you realize, during this process, you hate it all. It's not what you thought your life would be. And it sure as hell doesn't make you happy. 

So, here's my advise: don't follow your dreams. It's fucking hard. Instead, follow your heart. It already knows what you can't admit.  

Building a Future

“At some point, your memories, your stories, your adventures, will be the only things you’ll have left.
”

— Chuck Palahniuk

As I'm writing this piece, I'm sitting in a two-floor house on the beautiful island of Bermuda. I flew here on a Friday evening, made sure there were no emergencies at work and I'll be going straight back to work on Monday. 

This weekend is not very different than many of the weekends from the past year. 

A few weeks ago, I was sitting in my office and I decided to book a trip of a lifetime. Flying the world’s first apartment in the sky, spending a few weeks traveling through Dubai, Hong Kong, Bangkok and Sydney to get to the South Island of New Zealand. I'll be renting a car and camping along the way until I get to Milford Sound. After that, it’s time to drive back and find more adventures along the way. The trip is booked entirely in first class and a lot of it is being left up to day of planning. 

The reason I booked the New Zealand trip for June and the way I booked the trip coincides with something important in my life. I started working very early on in my career and was consulting for companies like Adobe by the time I was 17. I've worked really hard in my life but apart from the strange work stories, I don’t have anything to show for it. 

A few years ago, I walked away from a very lucrative career in broadcast production only to end up in advertising 3 days later. I worked in advertising for a few years and I left that industry to pursue my dreams. First, via a company called PaLaCart and then to start, join and advise many other amazing companies. 

Over my time building startups, I realized that despite being extremely stressed and overworked about professional aspects, startup founders are the happiest and most driven people in the world. Their passion to be themselves and to pursue their dreams is amazingly powerful. 

I would love to be paid my former salary today, but only if it didn't come with just 2 weeks off or limit me to a certain bubble. 

Some of the greatest things in my life happened because I decided to jump off the cliff. There is no way I would have ever been able to spend a week in Maui celebrating a friends birthday or been able to go to family weddings in the middle of a work week. Or realize that someone I’ve worked with in my periphery is going to be a huge part of my life. Those things are far more important than sitting in an office and indispensable when leaving behind a legacy. 

From cliff diving in Maui to buying a last minute plane ticket for the FIFA World Cup and spending a week exploring the Great Barrier Reef are all stories from the past 12 months. Those memories will last a lifetime. 

And only because I walked away from a paycheck 400 days ago. Whether temporarily or permanently is yet to be seen. But life, despite its uncertainty, has never been better. 

The Pursuit

As I’m writing this, I’ve spent the past 24 hours between airports on both coasts of the United States and en-route to Bermuda for some much needed thawing out. 

Most people dislike the thought of traveling for long hours. I, on the other hand, love it. 

I love flying from California to New York overnight and arriving at my office in time for the first meeting of the day. And despite all my whining, I love working hard and long hours to ensure that the things that we do mean something to someone. It doesn’t matter if all I’m doing is helping someone find a cheap flight or planning a social get together or building out applications for clients. 

And the reason it doesn’t matter is because I care. 

Over the past 3 years, I’ve slowly called it quits on my previous life. No more corporate credit cards. No more counting paid vacation days. No more people, clients and projects that were just a way to the end (aka: bottle service). 

It’s been scary along the way. But, it’s been rewarding beyond my wildest expectations. Because today I’m fueled by the the very core of things I care about: good people with a side of crazy. 

I stress every single day about finances. I stress about what might happen if all of this goes away. And I’m terrified beyond belief if the people I care about the most stop believing in the future. Because if there is one thing I’ve learned is this - the people closest to you never let you quit. They inspire you to work harder than you ever have before. They inspire you to go beyond your wildest threshold.  

And that’s what makes this incredibly fun. 

There isn’t enough money in the world for me to work an all-nighter for someone else. Or to even live a life where every single day is guaranteed. But that’s what makes this worth it. It’s all about being crazy enough to believe that things that you care about will care about you when it matters the most. 

To those on the edge - don’t fret. Do it. Perhaps one small step. Perhaps a huge leap. Either way, the freedom is exhilarating. 

On 2015

As another year rolls around, I look at the calendar, pack up my laptop, iPad and various accessories that have scattered around my apartment over the past 2 weeks. It feels like the end of a school vacation. 

The end of the year is always interesting. While a lot of people take time off, startup life doesn’t really stop. It keeps plugging away. Day after day, week after week and then suddenly, 3 years later, you look back to see what you’ve accomplished. 

Running PaLaCart has been my biggest privilege. We’ve gone through so many ups and downs and if I was in any other job - I would have quit to work at another company. 

PaLaCart has also been the longest job of my career. It has been greatly rewarding, extremely challenging and truly humbling. I couldn’t have done it without the support of friends and family. 

Over the past year, I’ve also joined Genome. It is a start-up incubator and service provider. While my involvement on the service side is just starting to ramp up, looking at startups from a critical eye and then from a compassionate heart is really interesting.

2015 is going to be the year of a lot of big decisions. No resolutions at this point, but time to get things moving. 

Onwards and upwards.